I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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