I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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