you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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