She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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