I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
She announced her abortion via fbk
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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