Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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