woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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