so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
