How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i was born a porn star she said
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I need a beard to bite.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
