I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
