Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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