the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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