I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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