I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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