I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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