Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
it's great music for shaving your balls
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
