my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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