the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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