Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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