Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
