Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
