You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
