question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
