Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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