I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize