Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
