Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
