Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I stole a fireplace last night.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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