Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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