im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
