ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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