so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Randomize
