We're like a lot better than the average bears
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
