ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
