my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
