Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
areolas are like halos for boobs.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
