Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
