Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I want to fling myself into the sun
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
