DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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