I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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