Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
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Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
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So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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