I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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