Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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