people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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