God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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