Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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