just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
