It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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