people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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