Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
