who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
