Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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