I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
