I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize