If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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