garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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