My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize