She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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