Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
