so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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