porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
