You're completely useless in the revolution.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Randomize
