I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?